Friday, February 24, 2006

Google Adsense or Load of Nonsense?

After doing a bit of cleaning up on the 'button link' section (down the (right hand side of the main site) & (left hand side of the blog section), I set off tonight with great expectations of myself to get a lot of work done tidying up all aspects of the site by getting rid of the Google adsense links on the Live Photos I've taken , 'cos as usual something that looked a good idea in the first place became the proverbial 'Albatross' around the neck of the site...
I don't think anybody running a personal website could generate anything near the amount of traffic via a Google adsense link to even buy a cup of tea from their earnings, so it's been replaced...
I would love to know what sense they used to design the program to pick out random keywords from your html that will associate back to something to do with anything Microsoft related or ebay related ... I'm sure that they use Ask Jeeves as a search engine...
  Anyway, I think the new ads I've put on are more relevant than anything that google tried to pick up on as a keyword so, as the saying goes "F**k Them Feed Them Rice",so hopefully these might be of use to somebody so, as I said earlier ther's nowt much happnin to write home about at minute so I took a photo of what I made for my dinner tonight...

Alas, Steve had no rice to F**k them with or Feed them with..., So he had to make do with Spaghetti....(It could be used for makeshift rope?)

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Pills, Thrills and Toothache....

Nothing much exciting to write home about this week I thought... but, as the work seemed to drag on & on due to more shite yer could swing a stick at arriving due to everyone there ordering stock like F**ckin' Noah on speed stating ("I think we'd better have at least two boxes of everything Mrs.Noah, yer never know when the next showers coming"). The old adage of 'square peg and round hole' springs to mind constantly at work these days and so does 'F**k this for a game of soldiers'.
Anyway there was light at the end of what seemed like a never ending black, black, blacker than midnight working weekly tunnel with Paul emptying his pockets on my workbench to show me his daily diet...At first glance I know what your thinking...

It does look like he's the dealer on his way to a homecoming pool party for Michael Barrymore, but he assures me that the 'Promise' is not On a Promise Cream and only toothpaste, the blue tube of lubricant is simply 'Bonjela' for rubbing on his Gums and not the word I misinterpretated beginning with 'B' and lastly all the pain relieving drugs (enough to get a Battalion High in Fort George) are innocently enough for his constant battle with his teeth.
                  Sorry mate, It had to be done.... C'mon the Rot!!!
          and don't forget yer trunks!!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Nice to see one of the old school back from the old Cock and Beaver !!!. When Paul mentioned to me at work that Simon was back, I knew that summat were going to kick off,. All we need now is Peter to actually stop being Captain Technophobe and realise that there is a world without seaman!!!
Hopefully we can all keep up what we've started again, but remember that the tear your eye when reading a post will only lead to a Blue Screen in the end, due to our ongoing fight for justice against the Religeous computer system that is known as Bill Gatesism.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Ian Brown - Aberdeen. "The Return of King Monkey"

Last Saturday night was spent at Aberdeen Exhibition Centre watching King Monkey himself, ex-Stone Roses singer and frontman Ian Brown belt out a storming set of old Stone Roses classics and an excellent selection of his own singles back catalogue, to a packed Press & Journal Centre. At the moment I'm in the process of getting the photos I took and maybe some sort of review onto the main website and hopefully this will be in the next couple of days barring anymore computer crash calamaties in my ongoing intergalactical internet war with Emperor Gates and his Fatal Error Occurences.

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Monday, February 06, 2006

Don't Fear The Reaper

As Monday's go, today didn't go too bad at all. After a slowish sort of start it soon got into a good day with the 'banter' flowing fast and thick and with the boss being away it was even better.
  After viewing some quality video footage on Paul's phone the "in thing to say" for today soon became "Whoar Yeah, Whoar Yeah..."
At lunchtime, listening to Radio 2 it got mentioned that today being the 1st Monday of February, it was the day most likely for people 'to throw a sickie'. I would like to know why I wasn't informed of this earlier so as not to be left out on this momentous day, as it is not like me to be off work on a Monday.
  As the afternoon went on it was good to hear the guy (Nick Flynn) who famously fell down a flight of stairs at a Cambridge Museum smashing into some priceless vases speak up for himself. Here are a couple of quote's he gave to the press
"I have a few household accidents, maybe drop a cup or two, smash a plate - but nothing like this has ever happened to me before"
"Well, I've been driving for a considerable amount of time and not had any serious accidents, and I seem to have most of my faculties"
He has surprisingly enough been told by the museum's director that he is not welcome there for the near future... mmm...I wonder why?...
  After this I thought it was going to be hard to top this for making my day but wait,...As I was skimming through 'The Sun' I stumbled accross this little gem and proceeded in taking the test with my reluctant workmate Paul who was by now beginning to resemble a cross between an old style Action Man and Rocky due to opening a door into his own face,
anyway try the test below and see your estimated age to die!!!
(If image is too small 'click on link' to 'The Sun')

Apparently I'll be 83 years old and Paul will be 63 years old when the old grim reaper comes a knocking.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Mad Dog's & Inverness Men Work In The Midday Sun...

As today goes I've not really done that much, exertions were kept to a minimum due to it being the weekend and only Mad Dogs & Invernesian's go out to work on a weekend. I don't know if the latter term I used (Invernesian's) is grammatically correct for a person born in Inverness or someone who dwells in Inverness but, nevertheless, I don't work weekends here Farm & Hardware Stores , but apparently there's "Good Times Ahead" ........ according to a Flyer.
  My time today has been mainly spent on the PC doing various tweaks to everything you seem to accumulate on the Internet and I've tried to give the blog a bit of a spruce up by adding a few buttons in the sidebar linking to some affiliates etc.
  I was also happy to see a couple of comments on a recent post from someone I don't know personally... , this has come down to me having a nose around other fellow britblog members sites in and around Inverness and leaving a comment on an interesting post Life In The Slow Lane (regards kat's from Culloden) about how our language is soon to become German based.
The only answer to this is BACK OFF BRUSSELS!!!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Back to Full On Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound man...

....and on the Third day of the Second Month in the year of Oure Lorde Two Thousend and Six he said "Let Steve have SOUND!!!". And the Nurse at the clinic did so give me audible sound again by using what could be described as a small clear plastic box type thing full of hot tap water attached to a squirty type thing which is then inserted into the ear to flush the hot water around the ear canal to clean out any small Roman Forts, other obstructions, loose masonary, debris or small animals sheltering from a harsh winter.
To try and put into perspective what it feels like I have done a before and after scenario with the use an imformative and complex diagram below...

After what took approximately 10 minutes it was over and done and the Nurse showed me what was causing the temporary Bungage. So as quick as a Jamaican Toboggonist I grabbed my Nokia 6680 portable communication device with built in image capturer and hurriedly sketched this somewhat alarming sight before my eyes,

If this is the shape of things to come in later life my ear blockages could well be harbouring a castle near you sometime...So watch out for the tokens you'll need to collect for the fantastic I Want To Pay 4 All and Smile! deal or I Love Not Getting In Here For Nowt! deal...